2007 - An Awakening

As I read the blogs of friends of mine, I'm reading about what their thankful for around the holidays (which was very nice, Dave) and what happened to them in the past year. In reading these blog entries, I've decided to compile my own list based on my 2007. Below is the list of things that I've learned this year - my "awakenings", if you will.

*I'm stronger than I think I am. Ok, maybe not physically, but challenge me - go on, I can handle it. And sometimes even I'll think that I can't handle it, but I'll never give up without a putting up a descent fight, scratching and clawing the whole way down.

*I don't care how much I weigh. At the ripe age of 25, I've finally realized that this number doesn't define me. If you're going to use a number to define me, use my IQ, use the number of children that I've delivered, use the number of tears that I've wiped or the number of boo-boos that I've kissed. You are not better than me because you are a size 2.

*If I can't pay cash for it, I can live without it. This was a big one... and the hardest awakening yet. This was also, however, one of my proudest accomplishments.

*No matter what I accomplish in life, nothing matters if I'm not a good mother to these children. I'll make mistakes and I'll lose my tempter and I'll mess up - multiple times, I'm sure. But I only get once shot to be a good mommy - no do-overs. And along those same lines...

*My kids won't love me less if I don't buy them every toy they ask for. Actually, in the long run, they'll respect me more, which means so much more.

*Childbirth is the only time mommies get waited on. This is not a crack on my husband in any way, but it's the truth. And it's not just me - it's most mommies I know. Staying drugged up in a hospital bed with people bringing you magazines and ice chips and calling in your dinner order which is then delivered to you... sounds like a vacay to me.

*My microwave was well worth whatever I paid for it. I don't know when the last time was that I ate a meal hot from the stove. But that's ok - I'm usually spending that time rocking or wiping tears from Mr. I'm-super-tired-but-fighting-it. He'll never be this little again and unlike my meal that can be reheated, I can't go back and rock him again.

*There's no shame in shopping clearance. Hello. My name is Jennifer and I'm a compulsive bargain shopper. And proud of it! No longer am I embarrassed or ashamed to look for a better deal or shop vintage thrift stores. Instead, I feel bad for you, Little Miss Two-hundred-dollar-jeans, who is still paying full price for everything. Don't get me wrong, I have nice things and wear name brands, but my $120 Banana Republic dress? I paid $10 for it at the BR outlet.

*Fairy tales were edited. Cinderella found her Prince Charming, alright, but what they didn't tell you was that she was high maintenance and he left the toilet seat up. My life is so much more at this point than I ever thought that it would be. I have two wonderful children and a husband that I wouldn't trade for anything - but my life is not perfect. My big awakening on this subject, however, was more so that no one's life is perfect. I have no one to impress or prove anything to. Joel and I fight... and sometimes, it actually feels really good. No one gets along all the time, no matter what they lead you to believe.

*I know the definition of real friends. "If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be; if it doesn't, it was never really yours." More than making new friends this year, I've reconnected with old ones. You know who you are...

So, here's to 2008 - may it be 1/2 as fulfilling as it's predecessor.